If, 5 years ago, someone had told me what my life would be like now... I would have cried. If they had told me how content I would be (and am), I would have looked at them like they were crazy and done everything in my power to change the course.
Maybe someone did tell me. If so, I probably looked at them like they were absurd and thought I'm glad they don't control my future.
But, here I am. And you know what? Its not at all like I thought it would be, but I'm content. I smile at the future, knowing God has good things for me. I peer at the horizon and, while I don't know what's out there, I can see the silhouettes and I find myself thinking That looks fun... exciting... attractive...
I may not know the details, but I still smile knowing that everything is good. And will be good.
Showing posts with label superwoman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label superwoman. Show all posts
March 24, 2012
December 19, 2010
Friends, Rejoicing, and Babies
After a great time with one of my best friends the other night, I drove us back to my house where she had left her car. As we said goodbye, she thanked me for being excited about her pregnancy and the upcoming birth of her first child...
How could I be anything but excited?
She recognizes that I am older than her... and it should be my turn first (or something like that). I will admit - it would be easy to think this way. I should have been married first; I should be the one preparing a baby room. But I'm not and she is. She is expecting a baby while my left hand remains naked. She's right. It would be easy to be upset, disappointed, and hurt. It would be easy to feel left out.
But, again I ask... How could I be anything but excited?
Would it be fair of me to try and take her joy away from her simply because I do not have a joy of my own? Would it be right of me to try and make her feel guilty simply because she has something that I don't? Instead, I think of the great advice from God on this subject...
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
This is the way our friendship works. That night, she wept with me as I grieved over my singleness (and finding yet another guy who will not be "the one"). We wiped our tears and hugged. She grieved with me and comforted me. That night, I rejoiced with her as she placed my hand on her stomach to feel the baby kicking. We laughed at her story of her trip up the elevator at work and how a co-worker noticed her entire stomach move with the kick of her baby inside.
I may not have a child inside my barren womb. But I will have the joy of visiting her in the hospital in a few short months. I will be able hold and cuddle with that bundle of joy. I'll have the pleasure of visiting her at home and taking care of the little one while she takes a much needed nap or shower. I'll even change diapers for her.
I am blessed beyond measure. I may not have a ring on my finger and I may not have children of my own. But I have two best friends - one who has already given me three little loves and another who will be giving me a bundle of joy in a few short months. I am blessed because these wonderful friends love me enough to share their joy with me.
Yes, I am blessed and I will rejoice with my friends as they rejoice.
How could I be anything but excited?
She recognizes that I am older than her... and it should be my turn first (or something like that). I will admit - it would be easy to think this way. I should have been married first; I should be the one preparing a baby room. But I'm not and she is. She is expecting a baby while my left hand remains naked. She's right. It would be easy to be upset, disappointed, and hurt. It would be easy to feel left out.
But, again I ask... How could I be anything but excited?
Would it be fair of me to try and take her joy away from her simply because I do not have a joy of my own? Would it be right of me to try and make her feel guilty simply because she has something that I don't? Instead, I think of the great advice from God on this subject...
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
This is the way our friendship works. That night, she wept with me as I grieved over my singleness (and finding yet another guy who will not be "the one"). We wiped our tears and hugged. She grieved with me and comforted me. That night, I rejoiced with her as she placed my hand on her stomach to feel the baby kicking. We laughed at her story of her trip up the elevator at work and how a co-worker noticed her entire stomach move with the kick of her baby inside.
I may not have a child inside my barren womb. But I will have the joy of visiting her in the hospital in a few short months. I will be able hold and cuddle with that bundle of joy. I'll have the pleasure of visiting her at home and taking care of the little one while she takes a much needed nap or shower. I'll even change diapers for her.
I am blessed beyond measure. I may not have a ring on my finger and I may not have children of my own. But I have two best friends - one who has already given me three little loves and another who will be giving me a bundle of joy in a few short months. I am blessed because these wonderful friends love me enough to share their joy with me.
Yes, I am blessed and I will rejoice with my friends as they rejoice.
November 23, 2010
A question to ponder...
I am currently reading Milton's Paradise Lost. In Book 9, we receive the narration of the fall - the deception of Eve and Adam's decision to eat the forbidden fruit. (I carefully craft that, for, according to Milton, Eve is deceived and Adam is not, but instead willingly chooses to partake of the fruit Eve offers).
It opens to me a pivotal question. See, Adam was created by God from the dust of the ground and thereafter Adam sees God face to face and joins in dialogue with God (We are not informed of the frequency of this conversation, either in the Genesis narrative nor in Milton's depiction, at least not from the parts I have read for class. Yet, we are informed that Adam had dialogue with God at least once in the naming of the animals).
Yet, when he discovers that Eve has eaten of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he chooses Eve over God. He chooses "death" (whatever that is, I'm not sure that either Adam or Eve would have been able to understand what death was at this point) with Eve over continuing in Eden with God. How could he do this?
I think the answer lies in the type of relationship which Adam had with God. I think the answer is quite simply that we have created a heaven out of Eden, painting a picture of Adam having complete and unhindered access to God. Yet God is not present when the serpent comes to deceive Eve, nor when Adam discovers Eve's offense. I think this requires us to re-imagine what Eden was like so that we can better understand why Adam chose Eve over God.
It opens to me a pivotal question. See, Adam was created by God from the dust of the ground and thereafter Adam sees God face to face and joins in dialogue with God (We are not informed of the frequency of this conversation, either in the Genesis narrative nor in Milton's depiction, at least not from the parts I have read for class. Yet, we are informed that Adam had dialogue with God at least once in the naming of the animals).
Yet, when he discovers that Eve has eaten of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he chooses Eve over God. He chooses "death" (whatever that is, I'm not sure that either Adam or Eve would have been able to understand what death was at this point) with Eve over continuing in Eden with God. How could he do this?
I think the answer lies in the type of relationship which Adam had with God. I think the answer is quite simply that we have created a heaven out of Eden, painting a picture of Adam having complete and unhindered access to God. Yet God is not present when the serpent comes to deceive Eve, nor when Adam discovers Eve's offense. I think this requires us to re-imagine what Eden was like so that we can better understand why Adam chose Eve over God.
November 1, 2010
clarification
I fear I may have been misunderstood to some degree with my last post, based on the comments I have received both on-line (including on the link on facebook) and verbally. While it is true that I expressed my own personal dreams, my point in writing was not for myself only.
I have full confidence in God and His ability to orchestrate the events of my life to fulfill His perfect plan. My concern is truly with the dilemma which our society has provided to many young women today.
Our society is increasingly delaying the age and time for marriage. In doing so, women who desire marriage and family are forced to enter into a career for a seemingly prolonged time. Granted, for some women this "prolonged time" is only a few short years, but for others this "prolonged time" can be well into their 30's. It is growing more and more common for women headed to their 20-year high school reunion to be traveling there with a toddler (or sometimes even with a full, round belly up front!).
Understanding that a women is entering into a stage of her life which involves a career comes with two major ideas.
First, that this "stage of life" is ambiguous. Like I mentioned already, this stage of life could be for a few short years. But there is no guarantee that this stage of life will ever come to an end.
Second, because this stage of life is ambiguous, there enters a pressure to embark on a career which can be enjoyed in the long-term. Should the ambiguous unfold into a permanent status, a woman wants to be doing something which she can enjoy as her life's work.
Now, to get to the point of the dilemma which I attempted to articulate yesterday. For many women, the career she chooses involves a certain level of required training. And this required training often involves time at a college, university, or trade school. Attending one of these institutions requires money, and since most families (especially with today's economy!) are unable to pay for college outright, the woman who desires to be a SAH (stay-at-home) wife and mother finds herself taking on student loans.
But taking on student loans means that these loans must be repaid.
So, now let's look at the hypothetical. We now have a young woman who has the average in student loans (roughly $20,000) and meets the man of her dreams, gets married, and wants to start having children and raising a family. But she is bringing into that family the added burden of $20,000 in loans (which can be in the ballpark of $350-400 in a monthly payment if the family is trying to pay off this loan in 5 years).
Can we say ouch?!
Like many young, single woman, I find myself hesitant to pursue my career dreams because doing so will involve significantly more than the average in student loans (let's face it, graduate work isn't cheap and financial aid is few and far between!). It is a dilemma facing many today.
At this point, I am striving to not worry about this decision. I'm striving to put Christ's words into action: "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). Still, I think this problem is prevalent enough that it warrants discussion.
I have full confidence in God and His ability to orchestrate the events of my life to fulfill His perfect plan. My concern is truly with the dilemma which our society has provided to many young women today.
Our society is increasingly delaying the age and time for marriage. In doing so, women who desire marriage and family are forced to enter into a career for a seemingly prolonged time. Granted, for some women this "prolonged time" is only a few short years, but for others this "prolonged time" can be well into their 30's. It is growing more and more common for women headed to their 20-year high school reunion to be traveling there with a toddler (or sometimes even with a full, round belly up front!).
Understanding that a women is entering into a stage of her life which involves a career comes with two major ideas.
First, that this "stage of life" is ambiguous. Like I mentioned already, this stage of life could be for a few short years. But there is no guarantee that this stage of life will ever come to an end.
Second, because this stage of life is ambiguous, there enters a pressure to embark on a career which can be enjoyed in the long-term. Should the ambiguous unfold into a permanent status, a woman wants to be doing something which she can enjoy as her life's work.
Now, to get to the point of the dilemma which I attempted to articulate yesterday. For many women, the career she chooses involves a certain level of required training. And this required training often involves time at a college, university, or trade school. Attending one of these institutions requires money, and since most families (especially with today's economy!) are unable to pay for college outright, the woman who desires to be a SAH (stay-at-home) wife and mother finds herself taking on student loans.
But taking on student loans means that these loans must be repaid.
So, now let's look at the hypothetical. We now have a young woman who has the average in student loans (roughly $20,000) and meets the man of her dreams, gets married, and wants to start having children and raising a family. But she is bringing into that family the added burden of $20,000 in loans (which can be in the ballpark of $350-400 in a monthly payment if the family is trying to pay off this loan in 5 years).
Can we say ouch?!
Like many young, single woman, I find myself hesitant to pursue my career dreams because doing so will involve significantly more than the average in student loans (let's face it, graduate work isn't cheap and financial aid is few and far between!). It is a dilemma facing many today.
At this point, I am striving to not worry about this decision. I'm striving to put Christ's words into action: "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). Still, I think this problem is prevalent enough that it warrants discussion.
October 31, 2010
My life's dream
Many single women I know are currently pursuing degrees and/or careers. Like them, I am dreaming and answering the question "what do I want to do with my life" in terms of career choices. In my mind's eye, I see myself racking up debt as I pursue post-graduate degrees and a career teaching at the collegiate level. Thankfully, I am not yet at the point of racking up debt.
And as I look at the decisions I am making and the decisions many women around me are making, I find myself beginning to fear that all our dreams will come true.
Yes, I am currently on a path to become a professor. And I often find myself excited at the prospects ahead of me on this path. But, no matter how excited I become, deep down, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid because this is not my life's dream. My life's dream is not to become a professor at a University. My life's dream is to become a teacher to two or three or four kids as they work through Elementary school. My life's dream is not to be respected at a University. My life's dream is to be loved. I want to be loved by a man and by these two or three or four children. Because, in my life's dream, these two or three or four children are my children and that man is their father and my husband.
My life's dream is to be a wife and a mother.
And that's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid that, as I pursue the education which is necessary for my "plan B" that men will think that my plan B is "Plan A." I'm afraid that they will want to respect my plans to the point that they do not pursue me. I'm afraid for myself, but I'm also afraid for all the other single women who are walking in my shoes with me.
I am not a feminist. I have dreams which involve a career, but mostly because I've discovered that not having a plan B is an enormous risk. And as I begin to catch glimpse of 30 around the corner, I am afraid. I don't want to wake up at 30 and realize that I haven't obtained my life's dream and I am a decade away from any other ambitions. So I'm starting on those "other ambitions." I just pray that I don't swallow my life's dream in the process.
And as I look at the decisions I am making and the decisions many women around me are making, I find myself beginning to fear that all our dreams will come true.
Yes, I am currently on a path to become a professor. And I often find myself excited at the prospects ahead of me on this path. But, no matter how excited I become, deep down, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid because this is not my life's dream. My life's dream is not to become a professor at a University. My life's dream is to become a teacher to two or three or four kids as they work through Elementary school. My life's dream is not to be respected at a University. My life's dream is to be loved. I want to be loved by a man and by these two or three or four children. Because, in my life's dream, these two or three or four children are my children and that man is their father and my husband.
My life's dream is to be a wife and a mother.
And that's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid that, as I pursue the education which is necessary for my "plan B" that men will think that my plan B is "Plan A." I'm afraid that they will want to respect my plans to the point that they do not pursue me. I'm afraid for myself, but I'm also afraid for all the other single women who are walking in my shoes with me.
I am not a feminist. I have dreams which involve a career, but mostly because I've discovered that not having a plan B is an enormous risk. And as I begin to catch glimpse of 30 around the corner, I am afraid. I don't want to wake up at 30 and realize that I haven't obtained my life's dream and I am a decade away from any other ambitions. So I'm starting on those "other ambitions." I just pray that I don't swallow my life's dream in the process.
October 23, 2010
A prayer come true
Being a student at a Bible college, it is really easy to become flippant about the Bible. Or worse, to become dogmatic about minor points. Both of these rob joy from the life of the hungering soul. My prayers have been against this.
Instead, my prayer has been "Lord, reveal Yourself to me as I study... Help me find You in the midst of writing this paper... reading this chapter... studying this passage..." It is absolutely amazing when this begins to happen.
I didn't realize the depth of God's answer to my prayers until yesterday. I was meeting with one of my profs - a brilliant mind who I respect immeasurably - and he asked me why I was interested in Ezra. I'm not even sure why he asked this question; he knew I was writing a paper on Ezra. But I answered him anyway.
It started with a paper. But its not even about the paper anymore. Its... personal now. I want to understand it and I'm not going to be satisfied until I have a grip on it.
Turns out, I will write a paper on Ezra. A 15-page or longer commentary in which I examine the text without the aid of a commentary. In that paper I will present all the problems (or rather the questions) that arise in Ezra. But I will refrain from drawing any conclusions. The conclusions are my own. And, to be truthful, I will need more time to develop my conclusions.
I'm sure those conclusions will come out. They'll probably be a vital part of my application paper on Ezra (a separate paper which comes a week later). But the prayer is coming true before my eyes... and its so much better than anything I could have dreamed.
Instead, my prayer has been "Lord, reveal Yourself to me as I study... Help me find You in the midst of writing this paper... reading this chapter... studying this passage..." It is absolutely amazing when this begins to happen.
I didn't realize the depth of God's answer to my prayers until yesterday. I was meeting with one of my profs - a brilliant mind who I respect immeasurably - and he asked me why I was interested in Ezra. I'm not even sure why he asked this question; he knew I was writing a paper on Ezra. But I answered him anyway.
It started with a paper. But its not even about the paper anymore. Its... personal now. I want to understand it and I'm not going to be satisfied until I have a grip on it.
Turns out, I will write a paper on Ezra. A 15-page or longer commentary in which I examine the text without the aid of a commentary. In that paper I will present all the problems (or rather the questions) that arise in Ezra. But I will refrain from drawing any conclusions. The conclusions are my own. And, to be truthful, I will need more time to develop my conclusions.
I'm sure those conclusions will come out. They'll probably be a vital part of my application paper on Ezra (a separate paper which comes a week later). But the prayer is coming true before my eyes... and its so much better than anything I could have dreamed.
October 19, 2010
Great Conversation
I love how God uses others to shape me.
For weeks, I have been praying (and I continue to pray!) that God will open my eyes and understanding so that I see Him as I study Ezra. A 21-page term paper which includes a 15-page commentary seems like a really good start! But my prayer has not been for knowledge only. I want understanding. I want God.
I want to see His heart and what He sees. I want to pursue God as I study Ezra.
Amazing things have been happening as an answer to my prayer. Really, there are two things, but these two things are happening over and over again and I see each separate event as "another amazing thing!" (Perhaps miracle, but "miracle" has such a stigma....)
First, excitement.
Typically, whatever I am studying for school is, well, academic. And when it comes to my devotions, I look for something non-academic so that I can get something which will give me personal application. When I was in Pentateuch for school, I read John. When I was in Gospels and Jonah for school, I read Chronicles. But I am so excited about what I'm learning in Ezra that I find myself reading passages that relate to Ezra in my personal devotion time.
Second, conversation.
Sometimes I bring up what I'm studying (because of the excitement I just mentioned). Other times, the other person I'm speaking with has actually moved the conversation to Ezra or an idea within Ezra. And most of those conversations are confirming and sharpening the things I've been seeing. I walk away from these conversations with confidence that I'm on the right path, and sometimes a little refining of the path as well.
I am so thankful for God's answering of my prayers. And for the tools (people) He is using in my life to help answer those prayers! My God is truly amazing. He deserves my praise!
For weeks, I have been praying (and I continue to pray!) that God will open my eyes and understanding so that I see Him as I study Ezra. A 21-page term paper which includes a 15-page commentary seems like a really good start! But my prayer has not been for knowledge only. I want understanding. I want God.
I want to see His heart and what He sees. I want to pursue God as I study Ezra.
Amazing things have been happening as an answer to my prayer. Really, there are two things, but these two things are happening over and over again and I see each separate event as "another amazing thing!" (Perhaps miracle, but "miracle" has such a stigma....)
First, excitement.
Typically, whatever I am studying for school is, well, academic. And when it comes to my devotions, I look for something non-academic so that I can get something which will give me personal application. When I was in Pentateuch for school, I read John. When I was in Gospels and Jonah for school, I read Chronicles. But I am so excited about what I'm learning in Ezra that I find myself reading passages that relate to Ezra in my personal devotion time.
Second, conversation.
Sometimes I bring up what I'm studying (because of the excitement I just mentioned). Other times, the other person I'm speaking with has actually moved the conversation to Ezra or an idea within Ezra. And most of those conversations are confirming and sharpening the things I've been seeing. I walk away from these conversations with confidence that I'm on the right path, and sometimes a little refining of the path as well.
I am so thankful for God's answering of my prayers. And for the tools (people) He is using in my life to help answer those prayers! My God is truly amazing. He deserves my praise!
October 17, 2010
the best part about the weekend...
At the half-way point of a 4-day weekend, I think its fitting to remember why weekends are so great...
Football. Yesterday there were some great games! And on the weekend, we actually have time to watch them :) This is especially note-worthy because, after having weekends off for 5 years, I was nervous I might have to miss the games this year. Thankfully, I only missed a part of one game due to work. But now that I have weekends off again, it is great knowing I can watch all the games :)
Breakfast. During the week, breakfast is normally the muffin I grab on the way out the door. Sometimes I'll have enough time to make a smoothie or pour a bowl of cereal to take with me. But on the weekends? I can fry up some sausage, bake a German pancake, pour some OJ, and smother my toast with homemade jam. On this 4-day weekend, I'm having German pancakes twice. Because I can.
To-do lists. Yes, this is a benefit of the weekends. Like it or not, life includes a to-do list. And on the weekends, I actually have time to scratch a few things off. When Monday (or the case of this week, Tuesday) comes along, my list will be a little shorter.
Yes, I love my weekends. This weekend I may not have the luxury of a nap, but that's okay. I have football, breakfast, and accomplishment underneath my belt!
Football. Yesterday there were some great games! And on the weekend, we actually have time to watch them :) This is especially note-worthy because, after having weekends off for 5 years, I was nervous I might have to miss the games this year. Thankfully, I only missed a part of one game due to work. But now that I have weekends off again, it is great knowing I can watch all the games :)
Breakfast. During the week, breakfast is normally the muffin I grab on the way out the door. Sometimes I'll have enough time to make a smoothie or pour a bowl of cereal to take with me. But on the weekends? I can fry up some sausage, bake a German pancake, pour some OJ, and smother my toast with homemade jam. On this 4-day weekend, I'm having German pancakes twice. Because I can.
To-do lists. Yes, this is a benefit of the weekends. Like it or not, life includes a to-do list. And on the weekends, I actually have time to scratch a few things off. When Monday (or the case of this week, Tuesday) comes along, my list will be a little shorter.
Yes, I love my weekends. This weekend I may not have the luxury of a nap, but that's okay. I have football, breakfast, and accomplishment underneath my belt!
October 14, 2010
Integrity
What does integrity look like?
- following through with your word
- honesty, despite the cost
- doing what's right when no one is looking
- a clear conscience
- a healthy fear of the judgment of God
- obedience amongst the disobedient
- not caring about the reward
How it plays out can be different for every person, because we all face different situations where we must choose to exercise integrity. But the most common thing I see at college is the student who answers correctly the question that shows up on most quizzes: "Did you read the assigned chapter(s)?" That is integrity.
- following through with your word
- honesty, despite the cost
- doing what's right when no one is looking
- a clear conscience
- a healthy fear of the judgment of God
- obedience amongst the disobedient
- not caring about the reward
How it plays out can be different for every person, because we all face different situations where we must choose to exercise integrity. But the most common thing I see at college is the student who answers correctly the question that shows up on most quizzes: "Did you read the assigned chapter(s)?" That is integrity.
October 7, 2010
God's strength and power
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Sometimes I am so thankful for the pain that wracks my body. Those moments are typically preceded by times when I wish I could be free of pain and live like a normal human being.
During the times when I wish for healing, I get frustrated. Recently, the pain has been causing uncontrollable groaning. I wake myself up in the middle of the night because I am whimpering from the pain and discomfort. Sometimes, when I'm not feeling prideful, I ask for prayer.
And sometimes healing comes. Not complete healing. And not permanent healing. But relief comes. God gives me the strength to do the task in front of me (tonight, the task was finishing a paper and studying for a midterm). It is in these moments when I feel God's power rest upon me.
I might still be uncomfortable. I might still be in pain. But God's power fills where my weakness fails.
"The Lord gave and the LORD has taken away.Blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21b)
Sometimes I am so thankful for the pain that wracks my body. Those moments are typically preceded by times when I wish I could be free of pain and live like a normal human being.
During the times when I wish for healing, I get frustrated. Recently, the pain has been causing uncontrollable groaning. I wake myself up in the middle of the night because I am whimpering from the pain and discomfort. Sometimes, when I'm not feeling prideful, I ask for prayer.
And sometimes healing comes. Not complete healing. And not permanent healing. But relief comes. God gives me the strength to do the task in front of me (tonight, the task was finishing a paper and studying for a midterm). It is in these moments when I feel God's power rest upon me.
I might still be uncomfortable. I might still be in pain. But God's power fills where my weakness fails.
"The Lord gave and the LORD has taken away.Blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21b)
September 23, 2010
Relief
Often, we pray for God's healing touch. And we're disappointed when He doesn't give physical healing.
Or we pray for relief, even temporary relief. And we're disappointed when He doesn't ease the pain.
Or we pray for explanation, asking God "why?" And we're disappointed when we don't hear His answer.
But today Ms. Pothen provided poignant insight... when pain comes, "we ought not ask God 'why are You doing this?' but ask questions about creativity: 'What are You creating?'"
This aligns so well with Scripture.
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that" God is creating something within you. What is He creating? "...knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4). Maybe God is creating perfection. This reminds me of another Scripture.
"...the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you" (1 Peter 5:10). God is again creating perfection. And He builds upon that perfection, confirming us as followers of Christ; strengthening us to stand in the midst of life's storms, and establishing us as pillars of faith to which younger believers can cling.
But I skipped the first part of this verse, which explains how He creates perfection. See, God creates perfection "after you have suffered for a little while."
Why am I suffering? Because God is creating something inside of me.
Looking back on my life, I would not trade the pain I've been through. Some lessons I wish I could have learned an easier way. But I do not wish to lose the lessons I've learned just to ease some pain that came along the path of learning. Through the paths I've been on, God has created something. I'm not perfect, but I'm moving towards His perfection.
I am so weak sometimes because of the physical ailments which plague me. But that just gives God more room to be strong! "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
If God can use my sufferings and trials to make me perfect and perfect His power in my life, why would I run from them? Why do you run from them? Do the rewards truly outweigh the present pain?
How you answer these questions says one thing; does how you live say another?
Or we pray for relief, even temporary relief. And we're disappointed when He doesn't ease the pain.
Or we pray for explanation, asking God "why?" And we're disappointed when we don't hear His answer.
But today Ms. Pothen provided poignant insight... when pain comes, "we ought not ask God 'why are You doing this?' but ask questions about creativity: 'What are You creating?'"
This aligns so well with Scripture.
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that" God is creating something within you. What is He creating? "...knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4). Maybe God is creating perfection. This reminds me of another Scripture.
"...the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you" (1 Peter 5:10). God is again creating perfection. And He builds upon that perfection, confirming us as followers of Christ; strengthening us to stand in the midst of life's storms, and establishing us as pillars of faith to which younger believers can cling.
But I skipped the first part of this verse, which explains how He creates perfection. See, God creates perfection "after you have suffered for a little while."
Why am I suffering? Because God is creating something inside of me.
Looking back on my life, I would not trade the pain I've been through. Some lessons I wish I could have learned an easier way. But I do not wish to lose the lessons I've learned just to ease some pain that came along the path of learning. Through the paths I've been on, God has created something. I'm not perfect, but I'm moving towards His perfection.
I am so weak sometimes because of the physical ailments which plague me. But that just gives God more room to be strong! "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
If God can use my sufferings and trials to make me perfect and perfect His power in my life, why would I run from them? Why do you run from them? Do the rewards truly outweigh the present pain?
How you answer these questions says one thing; does how you live say another?
September 20, 2010
peace
I recently read a description of peace. It defined peace not as the absence of chaos or a storm, but calm within the chaos and storm.
I resonate with that. God's Word and Spirit give me a peace which transcends understanding, despite my life's circumstances.
I am not Superwoman. But any resemblance that may exist is simply a small bit of the power of my God at work in my life. Hopefully you can see Him through the glimpses of my life found here.
I resonate with that. God's Word and Spirit give me a peace which transcends understanding, despite my life's circumstances.
I am not Superwoman. But any resemblance that may exist is simply a small bit of the power of my God at work in my life. Hopefully you can see Him through the glimpses of my life found here.
September 18, 2010
Perspective
I've often thought that it is not the circumstances that have control over our attitudes, but our perspectives.
Recently, a friend made the comment that I am always so optimistic. I was honored that she wanted to have that part of me rub off on her. When she asked how I do it, I had to stop and think. I realized that I haven't always been so optimistic (just ask my mom!).
I honestly think it goes back to counseling in Jr. High. The natural expectation when you go to a psychologist is to talk about everything going wrong in your life. My psychologist began challenging this thought process by asking me "and what's good?"
After a few weeks of this, I began to think during the week of good things I wanted to share with him during our sessions. Perhaps its the achiever in me, but I wanted him to see that I was getting better. And now, this is simply a part of who I am.
So, here's my optimism for the weekend: this morning, I got to sleep in until 6am! (Yes, I know, "sleeping in" and "6am" should not belong in the same sentence! But its an hour later than my week day schedule. And, remember, its all about perspective!)
Recently, a friend made the comment that I am always so optimistic. I was honored that she wanted to have that part of me rub off on her. When she asked how I do it, I had to stop and think. I realized that I haven't always been so optimistic (just ask my mom!).
I honestly think it goes back to counseling in Jr. High. The natural expectation when you go to a psychologist is to talk about everything going wrong in your life. My psychologist began challenging this thought process by asking me "and what's good?"
After a few weeks of this, I began to think during the week of good things I wanted to share with him during our sessions. Perhaps its the achiever in me, but I wanted him to see that I was getting better. And now, this is simply a part of who I am.
So, here's my optimism for the weekend: this morning, I got to sleep in until 6am! (Yes, I know, "sleeping in" and "6am" should not belong in the same sentence! But its an hour later than my week day schedule. And, remember, its all about perspective!)
September 16, 2010
Paradigm shift
A piece of what I'm learning in Advanced Bible Study Methods...
Every genre type in the Bible has a specific format which it follows. Epistles have an opening where the author and receiver are identified, followed by a greeting. Next comes either a note of thanksgiving or a prayer before the body comes.
The body is characterized by two aspects: an exposition and an exhortation. In concluding letters, we first see travel information (sending someone, making plans to come, or a wish to come soon) before greetings and/or a blessing.
Look at the epistles in the Bible, you'll see the pattern.
Then, look at 1 John. Where's the introduction of the author? Of the receiver? Hmm.... missing. Well, where's the greeting? The prayer? How about a note of thanksgiving instead? Hmm... missing. Since the entire introduction seems to be missing, let's look for the typical conclusion...
Travel information? Gone. A greeting or a blessing? Also absent. So is this an epistle?
Nope. Its not. Its poetry. And we start looking at all the parallelism (which is the main structure of Hebrew poetry), the "epistle" becomes alive! Wow, a whole new way to study the book of 1 John.
Every genre type in the Bible has a specific format which it follows. Epistles have an opening where the author and receiver are identified, followed by a greeting. Next comes either a note of thanksgiving or a prayer before the body comes.
The body is characterized by two aspects: an exposition and an exhortation. In concluding letters, we first see travel information (sending someone, making plans to come, or a wish to come soon) before greetings and/or a blessing.
Look at the epistles in the Bible, you'll see the pattern.
Then, look at 1 John. Where's the introduction of the author? Of the receiver? Hmm.... missing. Well, where's the greeting? The prayer? How about a note of thanksgiving instead? Hmm... missing. Since the entire introduction seems to be missing, let's look for the typical conclusion...
Travel information? Gone. A greeting or a blessing? Also absent. So is this an epistle?
Nope. Its not. Its poetry. And we start looking at all the parallelism (which is the main structure of Hebrew poetry), the "epistle" becomes alive! Wow, a whole new way to study the book of 1 John.
August 25, 2010
Teamwork!
Today it was amazing watching my new team work together to put together our space for the upcoming year! We accomplished SO MUCH! It was well beyond my expectations.
How was this accomplished? We had a united goal. We also had a similar vision. Without these two things, it would have been an extremely difficult day. We were able to divide and conquer and enjoy ourselves along the way. It helped that we also utilized our individual strengths to be most effective as a united team.
Tomorrow the new students arrive. The year begins. We're all a bit overwhelmed, but you know what? We can do this. We have God as our help.
How was this accomplished? We had a united goal. We also had a similar vision. Without these two things, it would have been an extremely difficult day. We were able to divide and conquer and enjoy ourselves along the way. It helped that we also utilized our individual strengths to be most effective as a united team.
Tomorrow the new students arrive. The year begins. We're all a bit overwhelmed, but you know what? We can do this. We have God as our help.
August 17, 2010
The excitement of a new year
After a long summer, I am eager to return to a routine again. I just hope my eagerness hasn't caused me to dive in over my head!
What am I excited about? So many things, but here's just a beginning...
- to welcome new students!
- to have a job with responsibilities again (but only because it fits in with my school life!)
- to be a part of a leadership team
- to dive into God's Word again in History & Poetry and Advanced BSM
- to be challenged in my theological beliefs in Prolegomena, Bibliology and Theology Proper
- to develop friendships, old and new
- to study a course within my discipline: British Literature
- to nurture the relationships I've begun in a new house church
- to establish myself at my new home church
- to grow... emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and more
Leadership training starts with tomorrow's BBQ! All I need to do is put the final touches on the schedules and then... hang on for the ride!
What am I excited about? So many things, but here's just a beginning...
- to welcome new students!
- to have a job with responsibilities again (but only because it fits in with my school life!)
- to be a part of a leadership team
- to dive into God's Word again in History & Poetry and Advanced BSM
- to be challenged in my theological beliefs in Prolegomena, Bibliology and Theology Proper
- to develop friendships, old and new
- to study a course within my discipline: British Literature
- to nurture the relationships I've begun in a new house church
- to establish myself at my new home church
- to grow... emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and more
Leadership training starts with tomorrow's BBQ! All I need to do is put the final touches on the schedules and then... hang on for the ride!
August 16, 2010
A little glimpse...
...into my life.
I often go against the grain. If you were to meet me on the street, or in church, or at school, or in the local coffee shop, or at work, or just about anywhere... you would think girlie-girl, city-girl, or she's-got-it-girl. Maybe all three. Maybe a combination.
But, strike up a conversation and you'll find out this girlie-girl spent her summer working on a home improvement project and is hoping to learn to ride a Harley. Hang out with me, and you'll find out that this city-girl loves to go out into the country for a day of hiking. Get me to open up, and you'll find out that this she's-got-it-girl doesn't have any of the things she has always dreamed of in life.
My best friend calls me superwoman. I think I'm just super crazy. Journey with me and decide for yourself.
I often go against the grain. If you were to meet me on the street, or in church, or at school, or in the local coffee shop, or at work, or just about anywhere... you would think girlie-girl, city-girl, or she's-got-it-girl. Maybe all three. Maybe a combination.
But, strike up a conversation and you'll find out this girlie-girl spent her summer working on a home improvement project and is hoping to learn to ride a Harley. Hang out with me, and you'll find out that this city-girl loves to go out into the country for a day of hiking. Get me to open up, and you'll find out that this she's-got-it-girl doesn't have any of the things she has always dreamed of in life.
My best friend calls me superwoman. I think I'm just super crazy. Journey with me and decide for yourself.
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