A few weeks ago I sat down to coffee with a girl friend. Dating became the topic throughout most of our conversation as we shared with one another our heartbroken stories. We weren't trying to tear apart the men who broke our hearts and were instead trying to grapple with dating and trusting God with our broken hearts.
At one point my friend looked at me and said "I don't think dating is working. But I don't like the alternative either. I don't know what the answer is."
This sentiment seems to be echoing throughout Christian culture and I heard a similar slam a few days later from a Christian psychologist who was frustrated with the way Christians are handling dating today.
This is also a topic of conversation on
Boundless and was
blogged about today by Suzanne. Suzanne had a great perspective. Speaking specifically about Joshua Harris'
I Kissed Dating Goodbye, she says "
The principles within encouraged me to remain pure and exercise wisdom in romantic relationships. Those are things that protected my self-worth and purity, led me to a healthy relationship, and continue to bless my marriage." Pulling the spiritual truth from what we're reading, and applying that truth to our lives sounds like a concept all too familiar to anyone who's taken a class from Ray Lubeck! And that's exactly what Suzanne did.
But what struck me most was not what Suzanne said, but third comment down:
I learned not to do the bad things, but I did not learn how to do the right things either.
Hmm. He's right. Learning to do the right things is just as important as learning not to do the bad things. I believe that's why Paul always provides a list of things that the believer
should be doing right after providing the list of activities a believer should be
avoiding.
But, like my friend and this commenter, I think we still need to answer the question: what are the right things and how do we do them? Right now the only answer I have is this: be willing to take a risk and trust God regardless of the outcome.
After a heartbreak several years ago, I needed to give myself some time to heal. Two years ago, a guy caught my eye. I prayed and prayed, "Lord, if this isn't going to end in marriage, please don't let it happen; I can't handle another heartbreak." But I realized that, in order to give any relationship a fair chance, I would need to be willing to risk having my heart broken again. It took me another year to get to that point.
But just because you are willing to take the risk doesn't mean that it will work out. That's why its a risk. And, regardless of the outcome, you have to be willing to trust God's promises for you. Promises of
hope and a future. Promises to satisfy our
heart's desire. But we must trust in Him, delight in Him, and glorify Him... regardless.
