Being a student at a Bible college, it is really easy to become flippant about the Bible. Or worse, to become dogmatic about minor points. Both of these rob joy from the life of the hungering soul. My prayers have been against this.
Instead, my prayer has been "Lord, reveal Yourself to me as I study... Help me find You in the midst of writing this paper... reading this chapter... studying this passage..." It is absolutely amazing when this begins to happen.
I didn't realize the depth of God's answer to my prayers until yesterday. I was meeting with one of my profs - a brilliant mind who I respect immeasurably - and he asked me why I was interested in Ezra. I'm not even sure why he asked this question; he knew I was writing a paper on Ezra. But I answered him anyway.
It started with a paper. But its not even about the paper anymore. Its... personal now. I want to understand it and I'm not going to be satisfied until I have a grip on it.
Turns out, I will write a paper on Ezra. A 15-page or longer commentary in which I examine the text without the aid of a commentary. In that paper I will present all the problems (or rather the questions) that arise in Ezra. But I will refrain from drawing any conclusions. The conclusions are my own. And, to be truthful, I will need more time to develop my conclusions.
I'm sure those conclusions will come out. They'll probably be a vital part of my application paper on Ezra (a separate paper which comes a week later). But the prayer is coming true before my eyes... and its so much better than anything I could have dreamed.
October 23, 2010
October 21, 2010
my therapist loves me...
How do I know this?
She inflicts pain. Severe, take-my-breath-away kind of pain. To the point that if she's working on my shoulder from the front, I feel it in my shoulder blade. And tonight she inflicted pain for an extra 15 minutes.
Yup, my therapist loves me.
She inflicts pain. Severe, take-my-breath-away kind of pain. To the point that if she's working on my shoulder from the front, I feel it in my shoulder blade. And tonight she inflicted pain for an extra 15 minutes.
Yup, my therapist loves me.
October 19, 2010
Great Conversation
I love how God uses others to shape me.
For weeks, I have been praying (and I continue to pray!) that God will open my eyes and understanding so that I see Him as I study Ezra. A 21-page term paper which includes a 15-page commentary seems like a really good start! But my prayer has not been for knowledge only. I want understanding. I want God.
I want to see His heart and what He sees. I want to pursue God as I study Ezra.
Amazing things have been happening as an answer to my prayer. Really, there are two things, but these two things are happening over and over again and I see each separate event as "another amazing thing!" (Perhaps miracle, but "miracle" has such a stigma....)
First, excitement.
Typically, whatever I am studying for school is, well, academic. And when it comes to my devotions, I look for something non-academic so that I can get something which will give me personal application. When I was in Pentateuch for school, I read John. When I was in Gospels and Jonah for school, I read Chronicles. But I am so excited about what I'm learning in Ezra that I find myself reading passages that relate to Ezra in my personal devotion time.
Second, conversation.
Sometimes I bring up what I'm studying (because of the excitement I just mentioned). Other times, the other person I'm speaking with has actually moved the conversation to Ezra or an idea within Ezra. And most of those conversations are confirming and sharpening the things I've been seeing. I walk away from these conversations with confidence that I'm on the right path, and sometimes a little refining of the path as well.
I am so thankful for God's answering of my prayers. And for the tools (people) He is using in my life to help answer those prayers! My God is truly amazing. He deserves my praise!
For weeks, I have been praying (and I continue to pray!) that God will open my eyes and understanding so that I see Him as I study Ezra. A 21-page term paper which includes a 15-page commentary seems like a really good start! But my prayer has not been for knowledge only. I want understanding. I want God.
I want to see His heart and what He sees. I want to pursue God as I study Ezra.
Amazing things have been happening as an answer to my prayer. Really, there are two things, but these two things are happening over and over again and I see each separate event as "another amazing thing!" (Perhaps miracle, but "miracle" has such a stigma....)
First, excitement.
Typically, whatever I am studying for school is, well, academic. And when it comes to my devotions, I look for something non-academic so that I can get something which will give me personal application. When I was in Pentateuch for school, I read John. When I was in Gospels and Jonah for school, I read Chronicles. But I am so excited about what I'm learning in Ezra that I find myself reading passages that relate to Ezra in my personal devotion time.
Second, conversation.
Sometimes I bring up what I'm studying (because of the excitement I just mentioned). Other times, the other person I'm speaking with has actually moved the conversation to Ezra or an idea within Ezra. And most of those conversations are confirming and sharpening the things I've been seeing. I walk away from these conversations with confidence that I'm on the right path, and sometimes a little refining of the path as well.
I am so thankful for God's answering of my prayers. And for the tools (people) He is using in my life to help answer those prayers! My God is truly amazing. He deserves my praise!
October 17, 2010
the best part about the weekend...
At the half-way point of a 4-day weekend, I think its fitting to remember why weekends are so great...
Football. Yesterday there were some great games! And on the weekend, we actually have time to watch them :) This is especially note-worthy because, after having weekends off for 5 years, I was nervous I might have to miss the games this year. Thankfully, I only missed a part of one game due to work. But now that I have weekends off again, it is great knowing I can watch all the games :)
Breakfast. During the week, breakfast is normally the muffin I grab on the way out the door. Sometimes I'll have enough time to make a smoothie or pour a bowl of cereal to take with me. But on the weekends? I can fry up some sausage, bake a German pancake, pour some OJ, and smother my toast with homemade jam. On this 4-day weekend, I'm having German pancakes twice. Because I can.
To-do lists. Yes, this is a benefit of the weekends. Like it or not, life includes a to-do list. And on the weekends, I actually have time to scratch a few things off. When Monday (or the case of this week, Tuesday) comes along, my list will be a little shorter.
Yes, I love my weekends. This weekend I may not have the luxury of a nap, but that's okay. I have football, breakfast, and accomplishment underneath my belt!
Football. Yesterday there were some great games! And on the weekend, we actually have time to watch them :) This is especially note-worthy because, after having weekends off for 5 years, I was nervous I might have to miss the games this year. Thankfully, I only missed a part of one game due to work. But now that I have weekends off again, it is great knowing I can watch all the games :)
Breakfast. During the week, breakfast is normally the muffin I grab on the way out the door. Sometimes I'll have enough time to make a smoothie or pour a bowl of cereal to take with me. But on the weekends? I can fry up some sausage, bake a German pancake, pour some OJ, and smother my toast with homemade jam. On this 4-day weekend, I'm having German pancakes twice. Because I can.
To-do lists. Yes, this is a benefit of the weekends. Like it or not, life includes a to-do list. And on the weekends, I actually have time to scratch a few things off. When Monday (or the case of this week, Tuesday) comes along, my list will be a little shorter.
Yes, I love my weekends. This weekend I may not have the luxury of a nap, but that's okay. I have football, breakfast, and accomplishment underneath my belt!
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