A nice long weekend away has come to a close. Its bittersweet. I greatly enjoyed the leadership training and time spent in late-night conversation with a couple friends...
A theme began to develop with our late-night conversations: the broken picker.
A psychologist told me that there are 4 reasons why a man is single at my age:
1) he has a broken picker
2) he has a fear of commitment/marriage
3) he is divorced (which means his picker is probably broken)
4) he is a widower
After mentioning this to my friends, we were left to contemplate the question: why am I single? We all began to realize that we, like many men, have a broken picker. We fail to recognize the quality men around us and instead find ourselves selecting men who are broken, entering into broken relationships.
I wonder if these four categories accurately reflect every - or even the majority - of singles in their late- 20's and 30's, but it certainly is some challenging food for thought!
August 21, 2011
August 10, 2011
Reflecting... And Praising
I feel like I’m running on empty. This Summer has been kinda dry. I read my Bible and I end up with more questions than I have answers. Again and again.
But, looking at where I’m at now and back at other times in my life where I’ve been in this place, I find that what I need, personally, is not answers. I don’t need knowledge or application. I simply need to get on my feet, realize I’m where God has me right now, and praise Him. As I look back, I can see how time and again worship has gotten me through difficult seasons... dry seasons.
It is during these times when the things I know in my head have the opportunity to play out in my life. During these seasons, truths can be expressed through action. Truths like our duty to rejoice through suffering. 1 Peter 1:6-8, “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
If my faith is going to bring praise to God, I want to be the person to start - I want to be the first person to praise Him.
But, looking at where I’m at now and back at other times in my life where I’ve been in this place, I find that what I need, personally, is not answers. I don’t need knowledge or application. I simply need to get on my feet, realize I’m where God has me right now, and praise Him. As I look back, I can see how time and again worship has gotten me through difficult seasons... dry seasons.
It is during these times when the things I know in my head have the opportunity to play out in my life. During these seasons, truths can be expressed through action. Truths like our duty to rejoice through suffering. 1 Peter 1:6-8, “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
If my faith is going to bring praise to God, I want to be the person to start - I want to be the first person to praise Him.
August 4, 2011
Recipe Time! Raspberry Rosemary Chicken
I actually posted this online a few years ago, but I figure its time to pass it along here. After making a batch of raspberry jam a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to pull out this favorite recipe and use it again. I forgot how much I love it! And, best part is... its pretty simple!
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon crushed rosemary
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/4 cup fat-free chicken broth
1/2 cup raspberry preserves
1/2 teaspoon honey dijon mustard
1 teaspoon chopped rosemary leaves
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon crushed rosemary
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/4 cup fat-free chicken broth
1/2 cup raspberry preserves
1/2 teaspoon honey dijon mustard
1 teaspoon chopped rosemary leaves
I hope you enjoy this as much as my family and I!
August 2, 2011
A Response to Dating
A few weeks ago I sat down to coffee with a girl friend. Dating became the topic throughout most of our conversation as we shared with one another our heartbroken stories. We weren't trying to tear apart the men who broke our hearts and were instead trying to grapple with dating and trusting God with our broken hearts.
At one point my friend looked at me and said "I don't think dating is working. But I don't like the alternative either. I don't know what the answer is."
This sentiment seems to be echoing throughout Christian culture and I heard a similar slam a few days later from a Christian psychologist who was frustrated with the way Christians are handling dating today.
This is also a topic of conversation on Boundless and was blogged about today by Suzanne. Suzanne had a great perspective. Speaking specifically about Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye, she says "The principles within encouraged me to remain pure and exercise wisdom in romantic relationships. Those are things that protected my self-worth and purity, led me to a healthy relationship, and continue to bless my marriage." Pulling the spiritual truth from what we're reading, and applying that truth to our lives sounds like a concept all too familiar to anyone who's taken a class from Ray Lubeck! And that's exactly what Suzanne did.
But what struck me most was not what Suzanne said, but third comment down: I learned not to do the bad things, but I did not learn how to do the right things either.
Hmm. He's right. Learning to do the right things is just as important as learning not to do the bad things. I believe that's why Paul always provides a list of things that the believer should be doing right after providing the list of activities a believer should be avoiding.
But, like my friend and this commenter, I think we still need to answer the question: what are the right things and how do we do them? Right now the only answer I have is this: be willing to take a risk and trust God regardless of the outcome.
After a heartbreak several years ago, I needed to give myself some time to heal. Two years ago, a guy caught my eye. I prayed and prayed, "Lord, if this isn't going to end in marriage, please don't let it happen; I can't handle another heartbreak." But I realized that, in order to give any relationship a fair chance, I would need to be willing to risk having my heart broken again. It took me another year to get to that point.
But just because you are willing to take the risk doesn't mean that it will work out. That's why its a risk. And, regardless of the outcome, you have to be willing to trust God's promises for you. Promises of hope and a future. Promises to satisfy our heart's desire. But we must trust in Him, delight in Him, and glorify Him... regardless.
At one point my friend looked at me and said "I don't think dating is working. But I don't like the alternative either. I don't know what the answer is."
This sentiment seems to be echoing throughout Christian culture and I heard a similar slam a few days later from a Christian psychologist who was frustrated with the way Christians are handling dating today.
This is also a topic of conversation on Boundless and was blogged about today by Suzanne. Suzanne had a great perspective. Speaking specifically about Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye, she says "The principles within encouraged me to remain pure and exercise wisdom in romantic relationships. Those are things that protected my self-worth and purity, led me to a healthy relationship, and continue to bless my marriage." Pulling the spiritual truth from what we're reading, and applying that truth to our lives sounds like a concept all too familiar to anyone who's taken a class from Ray Lubeck! And that's exactly what Suzanne did.
But what struck me most was not what Suzanne said, but third comment down: I learned not to do the bad things, but I did not learn how to do the right things either.
Hmm. He's right. Learning to do the right things is just as important as learning not to do the bad things. I believe that's why Paul always provides a list of things that the believer should be doing right after providing the list of activities a believer should be avoiding.
But, like my friend and this commenter, I think we still need to answer the question: what are the right things and how do we do them? Right now the only answer I have is this: be willing to take a risk and trust God regardless of the outcome.
After a heartbreak several years ago, I needed to give myself some time to heal. Two years ago, a guy caught my eye. I prayed and prayed, "Lord, if this isn't going to end in marriage, please don't let it happen; I can't handle another heartbreak." But I realized that, in order to give any relationship a fair chance, I would need to be willing to risk having my heart broken again. It took me another year to get to that point.
But just because you are willing to take the risk doesn't mean that it will work out. That's why its a risk. And, regardless of the outcome, you have to be willing to trust God's promises for you. Promises of hope and a future. Promises to satisfy our heart's desire. But we must trust in Him, delight in Him, and glorify Him... regardless.
July 30, 2011
The Love of Friends
This week has been very rough. But survivable thanks to the love of friends.
I've received so much love and support over the past few weeks and it has been a blessing to continue to have friends rally around me. Last night I met two friends at Pied Cow (a very Portland-y dessert and coffeehouse). One commented how the majority of people allow others (often including themselves) one month of mourning before its time to get back on your feet. But it often takes longer than that. She then encouraged me to take my time.
The imagery she gave me was beautiful... A friend of hers had an engagement called off a few years before. At one point, she saw the friend heaped on the floor crying. Well-intentioned friends would come by, grab an arm and try to pull her back up. Walking away, another friend would come by and do the same thing.
But what none of them saw was that Jesus was on the floor with her. He was holding her, sobbing with her, stroking the hair back from her face, and drying both their tears.
Wow. I had begun to think that God was silent. But He is on the floor with me, crying with me.
As another friend commented earlier in the week, I do not just have a wound... I have a scar re-opened. Its going to take time to heal. But I am thankful for the love of friends who are giving me time (at least for now) to go through the healing process and to mourn.
I've received so much love and support over the past few weeks and it has been a blessing to continue to have friends rally around me. Last night I met two friends at Pied Cow (a very Portland-y dessert and coffeehouse). One commented how the majority of people allow others (often including themselves) one month of mourning before its time to get back on your feet. But it often takes longer than that. She then encouraged me to take my time.
The imagery she gave me was beautiful... A friend of hers had an engagement called off a few years before. At one point, she saw the friend heaped on the floor crying. Well-intentioned friends would come by, grab an arm and try to pull her back up. Walking away, another friend would come by and do the same thing.
But what none of them saw was that Jesus was on the floor with her. He was holding her, sobbing with her, stroking the hair back from her face, and drying both their tears.
Wow. I had begun to think that God was silent. But He is on the floor with me, crying with me.
As another friend commented earlier in the week, I do not just have a wound... I have a scar re-opened. Its going to take time to heal. But I am thankful for the love of friends who are giving me time (at least for now) to go through the healing process and to mourn.
July 23, 2011
Summertime Recipe #4 - GUAC!
Another great side-dish recipe for BBQ's this Summer is the infamous guacamole. I feel I have finally found a great blend of seasonings and have mixed up this guacamole more than once (and in more than one state) so far this Summer! The flavors are simple so as to not crowd out the marvelous avocado. It goes great with other simple recipes, like the Berry Salad posted earlier!
GUACAMOLE
- 1 avocado
- 1t garlic salt
- 1/2t crushed red pepper flakes
- 1/2t chili powder
Cut open and peel the avocado, setting the pit aside.
Using a fork or food processor, begin mashing the avocado until soft
Add seasonings and continue mashing, blending seasonings throughout the guacamole.
Add additional seasonings to taste; feel free to leave chunks of avocado, according to your liking.
Add the pit back in.
While many people add lemon juice to keep their guacamole from browning, adding the pit back in works even better without needing to worry about a sour taste. Mmmm.... so delicious! Check back for some fun recipes to use your guacamole in soon!
GUACAMOLE
- 1 avocado
- 1t garlic salt
- 1/2t crushed red pepper flakes
- 1/2t chili powder
Cut open and peel the avocado, setting the pit aside.
Using a fork or food processor, begin mashing the avocado until soft
Add seasonings and continue mashing, blending seasonings throughout the guacamole.
Add additional seasonings to taste; feel free to leave chunks of avocado, according to your liking.
Add the pit back in.
While many people add lemon juice to keep their guacamole from browning, adding the pit back in works even better without needing to worry about a sour taste. Mmmm.... so delicious! Check back for some fun recipes to use your guacamole in soon!
July 21, 2011
Rejection isn't rejection when...
Rejection isn't always rejection. It may feel like rejection when someone turns their back on you... someone you thought was a friend or wanted as a friend... But sometimes friendships (or relationships) don't work out for other reasons. So here are the rules for rejection...
Rejection isn't rejection when...
...they never knew you. Its true: sometimes, people don't give us a chance. A friendship or a relationship never gets off the ground. So, if they walk away... they're not rejecting you. They can't reject you if they never knew you to begin with.
...its more about them than it is about you. This means they leave the friendship or relationship because of their own issues - fear or their own psychological disorder or whatever. In this case, they're not rejecting you. They might be rejecting everyone. It might look like you're the only one they're rejecting, but if its because of their own issues... they would have rejected anyone who held the role you had in their life.
...the person doing the rejecting is an asshole. The definition of asshole? "a stupid, mean or contemptible person... a worthless and annoying person." Face it: you're better off without them.
Rejection isn't rejection when...
...they never knew you. Its true: sometimes, people don't give us a chance. A friendship or a relationship never gets off the ground. So, if they walk away... they're not rejecting you. They can't reject you if they never knew you to begin with.
...its more about them than it is about you. This means they leave the friendship or relationship because of their own issues - fear or their own psychological disorder or whatever. In this case, they're not rejecting you. They might be rejecting everyone. It might look like you're the only one they're rejecting, but if its because of their own issues... they would have rejected anyone who held the role you had in their life.
...the person doing the rejecting is an asshole. The definition of asshole? "a stupid, mean or contemptible person... a worthless and annoying person." Face it: you're better off without them.
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