First Date (part 2)

So you're on that first date.  The guy asked; the girl said yes.  Maybe the feel is a casual hang-out; maybe the date has a very clear "date-feel."  Regardless, there's a task at hand.  Girls need to express their interest; guys need to make the following hour (or more?) an enjoyable time.

How do you do this?  By being prepared.

Be prepared for communication.  Don't always expect it to happen naturally.  If it does, great.  But if it doesn't, begin to build the foundation for natural communication.  Typically, natural communication grows out of common knowledge… things you know about the other person and the things the other person has an interest in.  So take the time to discover things about each other - their daily interests and maybe a few of their passions.

Before the date, think about what you do and don't know about him or her already and come up with some questions.  If you haven't had much communication prior to the date, here are some starting points...  If you don’t already know the answers to these questions, then ask the questions!

-          What church does he or she go to?  Is your date involved in any ministries at church?  Ask about them!

-          Does he/she work?  …go to school?  What does he like about his job? (Stay on the positive... talking about what you hate about your job doesn't create chemistry!)  What is she studying in school? Work and school are the things in our lives which take up the most time... so ask about them!

-          Does your date have any siblings?  You don't have to find out each family member's life story, but you can get a general idea about his or her family life by asking the right questions... so, ask about them!

If you've had more interaction before the first date, hopefully communication flows more naturally to begin with.  But, this is still the first date and you might still have some butterflies.  If you're having a hard time coming up with some questions to ask, hopefully these suggestions will spark something...

-          What was the last big event your date had that you know of?  Finals?  A review at work?  A mission’s trip?  A visit with family?  Ask how it went.

-          What ministries is he or she involved in, inside or outside the church?  Ask how they're going... If you're involved in a ministry together, you could talk about an upcoming event or activity or any recent ones (are you excited about the high school sleepover next week?  I think the 150-foot slip-n-slide is going to be so fun!)

-          Have you heard of any recent prayer requests?  Ask for an update.

All of these things will show genuine interest, keep conversation moving, and help build the foundation for future conversations to be able to flow naturally without so much effort.