Trust
Do I trust?
Do I dare?
Fear creeps in
Circling like a hawk.
Faith,
Where have you gone?
Will you return?
Can I come to you?
Faith
I pursue
Unceasingly I chase
Unbidden, I follow anyway
Trust
I choose
Anchoring upon the Faithful
Worshiping the Worthy One
May 22, 2011
May 4, 2011
An end... A beginning
Life is full of endings. And beginnings.
This week we had a final team dinner with our Commuter Life Team for this year. Interviews for next year's team were completed almost two months ago, and I am excited for next year. But watching these friends finish their time at Multnomah and launch off to new beginnings is a bit surreal for me.
My boyfriend is among the 2011 graduates. Watching him finish his final assignments this week I keep thinking one word: done.
Done? Jealousy has certainly crossed my mind. In one sense, I am eager to be done with homework and deadlines and return to the life of the 8-5. I miss having evenings open - wide open - to read, watch TV, or hang out with friends (or my boyfriend).
Yet, in the midst of that jealousy I sense a few other feelings among my friends. These feelings can probably boil down to one word: bittersweet. I can see that they will miss spending all day, every day, with their friends - even if that is in class and studying in the library and pushing earbuds into their ears in an attempt to drown out the noise of the dorms. I can see that they will miss the mental stimulation brought on by constant learning. And I can see that they will miss knowing "what's next" and that any difficult classes will be over soon (the "I just have to make it through finals mentality).
So, as I face 2 more days of classes and 2 more days of finals, a week off and then Summer classes, I hope to keep these things in mind. Yes, this may be emotionally and mentally draining, but there is something to be enjoyed here which I might soon miss.
This week we had a final team dinner with our Commuter Life Team for this year. Interviews for next year's team were completed almost two months ago, and I am excited for next year. But watching these friends finish their time at Multnomah and launch off to new beginnings is a bit surreal for me.
My boyfriend is among the 2011 graduates. Watching him finish his final assignments this week I keep thinking one word: done.
Done? Jealousy has certainly crossed my mind. In one sense, I am eager to be done with homework and deadlines and return to the life of the 8-5. I miss having evenings open - wide open - to read, watch TV, or hang out with friends (or my boyfriend).
Yet, in the midst of that jealousy I sense a few other feelings among my friends. These feelings can probably boil down to one word: bittersweet. I can see that they will miss spending all day, every day, with their friends - even if that is in class and studying in the library and pushing earbuds into their ears in an attempt to drown out the noise of the dorms. I can see that they will miss the mental stimulation brought on by constant learning. And I can see that they will miss knowing "what's next" and that any difficult classes will be over soon (the "I just have to make it through finals mentality).
So, as I face 2 more days of classes and 2 more days of finals, a week off and then Summer classes, I hope to keep these things in mind. Yes, this may be emotionally and mentally draining, but there is something to be enjoyed here which I might soon miss.
March 4, 2011
A Bundle of Joy
This afternoon, I had the pleasure of visiting one of my best friends at the hospital and meeting her day-old son. Titus was, of course, precious.
It was a joy to hear her express the experience of giving birth to me. I had the privilege of being in the room when my niece was born five years ago. Hearing the description of Titus' birth just reminded me how vastly different the experience can be for different women.
Holding Titus (after he came back from "testing"), I was amazed at the bundle of joy in my arms. His skin was absolutely beautiful. His expressions were adorable as he reacted to voices and lights around him.
I enjoyed the few minutes I got to hold him. And I look forward to being a part of his life. I am excited to watch my friend enter into motherhood and am eager to see her grow and experience all there is to experience in raising a little one. I smile at the thought of him scooting along the floor 8 or so months from now...
Yes, he is a bundle of joy.
It was a joy to hear her express the experience of giving birth to me. I had the privilege of being in the room when my niece was born five years ago. Hearing the description of Titus' birth just reminded me how vastly different the experience can be for different women.
Holding Titus (after he came back from "testing"), I was amazed at the bundle of joy in my arms. His skin was absolutely beautiful. His expressions were adorable as he reacted to voices and lights around him.
I enjoyed the few minutes I got to hold him. And I look forward to being a part of his life. I am excited to watch my friend enter into motherhood and am eager to see her grow and experience all there is to experience in raising a little one. I smile at the thought of him scooting along the floor 8 or so months from now...
Yes, he is a bundle of joy.
February 25, 2011
The speed of life
I often doubt that the speed of light is faster than the speed of life. Have you ever noticed how quickly life changes?! Granted, there are the moments when life slows wayyyyy down. My two closest friends have been experiencing that - one is waiting for her husband to come home from deployment; waiting for information on when his deployment will end. The other is waiting for her first child to decide he or she is cooked enough and ready to come out and greet the world.
Yes, we all have our moments of waiting. But then there are the moments when we simply wish life would slow down a little so we can have time to catch our breath!
I have been in the latter camp for the past month.
Four weeks ago, I began dating a guy I have been interested in for about 7 months. Moving from "interested" to "boyfriend" happened SO quickly and I feel I am just now beginning to catch my breath.
Two weeks ago, I was informed that tuition would be increasing significantly next year. Suddenly, I am faced with multiple decisions about school - how do I finish without a huge loan? All at once, I find my plans changing significantly and I am now anticipating graduating next year.
Sometimes life moves quickly; sometimes changes come suddenly and take us by surprise. I'm just glad God gives me the strength to hang on!
Yes, we all have our moments of waiting. But then there are the moments when we simply wish life would slow down a little so we can have time to catch our breath!
I have been in the latter camp for the past month.
Four weeks ago, I began dating a guy I have been interested in for about 7 months. Moving from "interested" to "boyfriend" happened SO quickly and I feel I am just now beginning to catch my breath.
Two weeks ago, I was informed that tuition would be increasing significantly next year. Suddenly, I am faced with multiple decisions about school - how do I finish without a huge loan? All at once, I find my plans changing significantly and I am now anticipating graduating next year.
Sometimes life moves quickly; sometimes changes come suddenly and take us by surprise. I'm just glad God gives me the strength to hang on!
February 20, 2011
Headaches... and diet?
I feel like I have tried nearly everything in an attempt to vanish the headache that lingers. Finally, I have found some relief. I'm not sure if its from the change in my diet, using oils, or just getting back into a routine with treatments. I won't complain, so long as it keeps working!
Changing my diet has been CRAZY! To begin with, breakfast is mandatory. But not just that, it must be either high grain/fiber or include protein. Preferably both.
Second, as much as I am able to, I am cooking from scratch. Pre-processed, boxed or frozen foods are out. This is much harder than it seems because it is now necessary for me to cook for myself once or twice a week. I don't mind this change at all, it simply adds another task or two to my weekly list.
Third, and related to the first two, is increasing my protein intake as well as adding tumeric and marjoram to my diet. Tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory. Marjoram is a natural muscle relaxant. Both are great for the body, especially my body with all the muscular problems I wrestle with.
While my headaches have not completely disappeared, at least I have days without them again!
Changing my diet has been CRAZY! To begin with, breakfast is mandatory. But not just that, it must be either high grain/fiber or include protein. Preferably both.
Second, as much as I am able to, I am cooking from scratch. Pre-processed, boxed or frozen foods are out. This is much harder than it seems because it is now necessary for me to cook for myself once or twice a week. I don't mind this change at all, it simply adds another task or two to my weekly list.
Third, and related to the first two, is increasing my protein intake as well as adding tumeric and marjoram to my diet. Tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory. Marjoram is a natural muscle relaxant. Both are great for the body, especially my body with all the muscular problems I wrestle with.
While my headaches have not completely disappeared, at least I have days without them again!
January 24, 2011
Five years ago today...
Five years ago today, I made the hardest decision of my life. I ended a relationship. I walked away from a dream.
I'm glad of this: five years ago today, I did not know today.
I did not know where the path would lead. I might have been overwhelmed.
I say this, but what I do not mean is that I have any regrets. I look back on this day five years ago and I perceive the best decision I have ever made (with the exception of my decision to follow Christ).
The road this decision has led me down has been most challenging, but also most rewarding. But who is to say a different decision would have been less challenging? It most certainly would not have been rewarding. Not in the least.
Today, I look back on a day which was, well, good. But this week is not filled with memories of things which are good. It is a week of difficult memories. Processing them (yet again) has not become easier with the passage of time. Instead, it has grown with difficulty. Yet, someday, the pain will ease.
Someday, the pain will ease.
I'm glad of this: five years ago today, I did not know today.
I did not know where the path would lead. I might have been overwhelmed.
I say this, but what I do not mean is that I have any regrets. I look back on this day five years ago and I perceive the best decision I have ever made (with the exception of my decision to follow Christ).
The road this decision has led me down has been most challenging, but also most rewarding. But who is to say a different decision would have been less challenging? It most certainly would not have been rewarding. Not in the least.
Today, I look back on a day which was, well, good. But this week is not filled with memories of things which are good. It is a week of difficult memories. Processing them (yet again) has not become easier with the passage of time. Instead, it has grown with difficulty. Yet, someday, the pain will ease.
Someday, the pain will ease.
January 23, 2011
tumeric
Today is day 26 of my headache. I have had a mere two days without a headache during these 26 days. One of those days was after an acupuncture treatment (but I have had 3 treatments during this time, and the other two treatments failed to relieve the headache for more than a few hours). The other of those days was after taking a large dose of pills (and mixing prescriptions with over-the-counters... On that note, I should make it clear that I have discussed this combination with my doctor and he has given the okay to take this combination). Needless to say, I cannot maintain that method!
So now I'm trying to do two things. 1) Try to find out what is causing this headache. 2) Try to find alternate methods of relieving this headache.
Introducing tumeric. Tumeric is a spice which works, among other things, as a natural anti-inflammatory. I was given a small amount of tumeric essential oil. The down side is that it stains your skin (tumeric is a bright, bold yellow). Applying this at the source of my headache, the stain is covered by my hair. However, it is not hidden when I apply it at the pressure points between my finger and thumb.
Since beginning to apply tumeric oil, my headache has not ceased. But, it has proven to be far more effective than the 800mg of ibuprofen which I was taking every 4 hours. The tumeric oil typically relieves my headache for about 6 hours.
But since tumeric is a spice, it can also be taken orally. Here is a list of the majority of the health benefits which can be derived from tumeric in oral form (the following information is taken from http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/20-health-benefits-of-turmeric.html):
Turmeric is one of nature's most powerful healers. The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.
The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer's disease.
Here are 20 reasons to add turmeric to your diet:
1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.
2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.
3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.
4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.
5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.
6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.
7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.
8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.
9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.
10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.
11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.
12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.
14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.
16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.
17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.
18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.
19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.
20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.
So now I'm trying to do two things. 1) Try to find out what is causing this headache. 2) Try to find alternate methods of relieving this headache.
Introducing tumeric. Tumeric is a spice which works, among other things, as a natural anti-inflammatory. I was given a small amount of tumeric essential oil. The down side is that it stains your skin (tumeric is a bright, bold yellow). Applying this at the source of my headache, the stain is covered by my hair. However, it is not hidden when I apply it at the pressure points between my finger and thumb.
Since beginning to apply tumeric oil, my headache has not ceased. But, it has proven to be far more effective than the 800mg of ibuprofen which I was taking every 4 hours. The tumeric oil typically relieves my headache for about 6 hours.
But since tumeric is a spice, it can also be taken orally. Here is a list of the majority of the health benefits which can be derived from tumeric in oral form (the following information is taken from http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/20-health-benefits-of-turmeric.html):
Turmeric is one of nature's most powerful healers. The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.
The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer's disease.
Here are 20 reasons to add turmeric to your diet:
1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.
2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.
3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.
4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.
5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.
6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.
7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.
8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.
9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.
10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.
11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.
12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.
14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.
16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.
17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.
18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.
19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.
20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.
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